Standard Bank, just a standard bank

Standard Bank is the most useless bank out of the lot we have here in South Africa. I don’t know if they are actually worldwide. I sure hope not, because their services are just so… standard. Not like certain other banks I know… *cough*FNB*cough*.
Standard Bank must have the worst service and customer relations I have ever come across. I won’t even grace them with a link from here. Google them if you want to read about them.

So a while ago they phone me and ask me if I want a Bluebean credit card. These companies always phone me with their freebies and giveaways, but who can resist a credit card. I keep them all nice and safely tucked away for an emergency.

So now just the other day, one of those emergencies decided to rear it’s ugly head. So I thought I would quickly login to that account and transfer some credit.
Welcome to the world of Standard Bank. You need an ATM PIN to be able to register for online banking. Ok cool, where do I click? Maybe I can just phone a consultant and quickly do it telephonically. No way Jose Guervo. You have to get off your lazy behind and go down to the branch to physically set up a PIN!

So I get back and sit down and think, ok, minor setback lets transfer some money. Manage to get the drawn-out registration process completed. Login, set myself up as a beneficiary, go to Pay Now, type in the amount, no go.
Ok what’s the story here. Ok I need to set up a daily limit. Mm, where do I click? Phone support. Nope, ‘Sorry sir, you have to go into the bank to set up a daily limit’. Wha!!!??

By this time the emergency has come and gone. But now I am determined to get this sorted out for the future. So I’m off to the bank once again. The lady at the bank at one of the Port Elizabeth branches tells me, it is the law that you have to go into the bank and do it. (I don’t know about that hey, FNB must be doing things illegally then!)

So eventually I came right. But then came the time to quickly pay that credit card off again. Go online, try to add a recipient, ok, it’s a credit card, works a bit differently to normal bank accounts. How do you set a Standard Bank Bluebean credit card set up as a recipient.

Back on the phone to Standard Wa.. I mean Bank. ‘Eh, sorry sir, I have NO IDEA how to do that.’ Mm, ok, don’t you work for Standard Bank? Isn’t this Customer Care? Then she has the audacity to speak to me like I’m an idiot!

Phone FNB, 30 seconds and it’s done. Didn’t even wait with elevator music playing in the background (note Standard Bank has a minimum of 10 minutes elevator music, at least they don’t beat Telkom with a 40 minute session).

Standard Bank has a long way to go, but maybe they’re just not bothered, which comes back to the reason for their name, Standard Bank, just a standard bank.
Open an FNB account, your banking problems will be at an end! * Take note Standard Bank!

In: Rants & Raves

Tags: bank, fnb, South Africa, telkom